well, ... at least a start.

After a year of Pandemic situation, I finally have the willingness to touch this blog. 
..... and weird enough I finally dyed my hair back to darkest brown. 
THE C O N T R A S T of skin tone .. I TELL YOU .......... 
oh, and I'm having an existential crisis. 


Profound Consciousness

/insert long apology about not being active, but no one actually read my blog anymore. So I spare you the time/

Lately I haven't felt like I belong. Like, I'm so outta place and my flight response heightened. It's true, you know, .... your environment actually influence you a lot. This one, ... is toxic. I have been feeling so awful yet couldn't put my finger on what's wrong with me.

I don't know, the people that knows me, knows me was like .... encouraging me to strive for something better and believe me, I want to.

BUT ... I have been beaten to the ground that I'm not good enough? How to recover? Do I need to take a pause to all this?

Mom finally said that I need to go where I'm appreciated. Lo and behold, something that someone did triggered me and I'm gonna go full force now.

Striving for something better, where I will be finally appreciated.


best wishes,


This shall mark the day I'm trying to write again ....

So, first of all, hello.

It's been an Effing while.

I know.

For the last 6 months or so, I have been busy trying to find my inner peace, been busy trying to figure myself out. But as a reward, not only I found myself again, I discovered a few surprise pieces of life that I have been longing to have.

I finally found that if people do love you, they will pull an effort to keep you. Any relationship would lasts if there's effort. So even it felt like I wasted my time trying to connect with so many people, I am where I am today because it is really the right time for me to experience real love.

I spent my life tolerating people that would act like they're the center of my universe, .... they're so not.

Instead, I have the people that would meet me in the middle. The ones that says sorry if they're late, the ones that remember to ask me how I am, the ones that don't act like they know me, know me.

I never really felt like I'm obligated to be with them. It's always 50-50.


To whom it may concern,

Thank you for having me in your lives.

Your friend.

a happy type of blue

Oh hi ho! IT HAS BEEN A - FREEEKING - WHILE. Ok, self .. chill with the caps. Buttttt .... I'm back, not for good, but more like popping in and out.

I know the last post I posted was me having weird-ass hair, but that hair had been for months on end and I feel like I need to change something? .. so then when I realized that I have 2 boxes of caramel-choco dyes, I went for it and here I am being a brunette? ... once again. Let's just see how long this color last, ...

Oh, the outfit? Glad you notice. Me, decked out in H&M, as always, ... I feel totally myself. Getting all dolled up is something I needed the most when days get rough. The "at least I look good" feel is something I cherish the most nowadays.

Half the year went by like a wind on a cloudy days, ... taken for granted. Don't you think? But, ... on the next half of the year, I might tick off things in my bucket list, ya'know... but it's still not set and all. Fingers crossed, ....

Mesh Dress, Tank and Flare Skirt as inner, Boots - H&M | Mini Sling Bag - MINISO

(not) an update

HI HELLO O M G - long time no see, eh? I actually don't have anything to say. Life has been so outta this world. I feel so uninspired and ... blah. But concerts are coming, and my hopefully fall trip is in the brewing process. So, ... yeah.

Hopefully, I can make this blog run in motion again, somehow.

oh, and I'm currently looking like this.


Tangerine 2.0

I'm aware that I used the same hoodie as the last post, ... so it's just another take of how I would wear my hoodie.

Pictures were taken in the afternoon after meeting Q2HAN (vlog here), the hoodie served as a dress. I feel like I'm slowly easing myself back to street style. I feel like my preferences shifted a lot these past few months due to a heavy influence of people that I look up to. Why I wear it like this? For me it's a perfect middle ground of girly and boyish. The dress, well - hoodie, is such a boxy piece somewhat masculine and the knee-high socks made me feel like a school girl. I don't think I'm doing a very good job explaining, but you know ... This outfit is a middle ground for me to be a little more adventurous towards my outfit choices - or me slowly turning back to the real me.

February is coming to an end, ... and I'm feeling like I need to be high on life. I want to travel, to see the world, .. yet still haven't have the ability to do so. Hopefully, soon.

Do you want to be high on life?


Hoodie - 28 Laboratory | Shoes - Converse | knee-high socks - H&M

World Apart

some smiles hide the saddest, most painful feeling. 

Jonghyun Oppa, I love you. I hope you're happier..
I miss you, will never stop loving you, and I'll see you when I see you.

xo, Dee


So, ... I'll start with a Happy New Year and may 2018 do you justice for your hard work. How are you? I hope you're doing great.

Wow, ... I've gone so long that I actually feel a little awkward to type words here. But yeah, I have been busy with life and being drained out with all the adjusting and adapting that I have to do. But I'm getting better. You know, ... Last December I got hit by news of the passing of, Kim Jonghyun of Shinee. He's one of the most talented people I knew. His passing just threw me off my game. Regardless, I hope he's happier than ever now. 오빠, 사랑해 .. So yeah, I'm regaining my game again. Slowly, but surely.

And here comes why I look like a tangerine. I purchased the hoodie from (He said we're friends, ....) a friend. He's an upcoming streetwear designer from South Korea. This orange hoodie is, ... let's be clear here ..., not my color. Coz I dressed in black, and only black for years. But, I got a bright coral-orange converse couple months back and upon seeing this orange hoodie, ... it clicked in my head. He only made a few of each designs, ... so I do what I gotta do. I "Get it". 

The hoodie itself is a simple hoodie, too warm for Jakarta's weather, but perfect for my cold office. So in the end, it all works out perfectly.

How's your January so far?


Hoodie - E88AL Laboratory | Skinnies - H&M | High Tops - Airwalk

'reset' button

HI ... IT'S BEEN A-WHILE! I know I have abandoned this blog for far too long. I was so hung up on making this blog as a "professional" thing that I just gave up on it. You know, sometimes things would not go as planned, .... as what you hoped for. ....... but, .... I finally set my mind on having this blog as a, once again, ...an escape, a fun escape. I'll try to be more "fashion" and less random. I will finally sort things out, I'll do my best to make everything ready by January or the latest, ... February. 

Wish me luck on things, please.


Top - Zara | Ripped Jeans - H&M | Sneakers - Converse


got the tickets from KBS WORLD's event !! Thank you, KBS WORLD !!! - and saw BAP, ASTRO, NCT127, EXO, GFRIEND, BOGUM, IRENE ... it was, .. BOIIII ...

NEW chapter

A new chapter of my life is in construction right now. I'd admit, I'm beyond scared. But hey, as a promised I made on April 29th, 2017 to BTS at their concert, ... "I would never lost my dream". This new chapter is somewhat a passage of life, of achieving greater things, so I'm nervously excited.

Ok now I got that outta the way, ... Let's talk about the outfit. As my trustee black skinny jeans is now had became shorts, I gravitate towards cotton trousers....? I know, I don't even believe it myself, ... but somehow as I swapped my jeans with trousers, the outfit had a sophisticated feel to it. The nude lace-up heels made the outfit more mature, I guess. 

To be completely honest, I feel like my style is shifting .. but I guess, it's just another passage of life. The new chapter begins on Monday, ... so please wish me luck!


Top - Forever21 || Kimono - Evelove Boutique || Shoes - "Kameo" Christian Siriano for Payless


I would not lie, Kpop had been spewing a lot of summer anthem lately. My top 3 is Monsta X - Newton, KARD - Hola Hola, and EXO - Ko Ko Bop, ... oh, all of the MVs were super colorful, thus this outfit. I wasn't really thinking when I put these outfit (well, ..ok that's a lie .. I thought long and hard to pick the shoes). But then again, this is a major step for me after 3 years living in a grayscale outfit. I love how the yellow complemented the blue and vice versa. The cropped hoodie was a little distressed and I feel like it gave more of a character to the whole ensemble. If you notice, I couldn't leave out the round clear specs nowadays, ... again, it gave an oomph to, in my opinion, a simple outfit - and sometimes, makeup. Loud, but at the same time subtle.

a little short, but I'll se y'all soon!


Romper, Specs, Boots - H&M || Cropped Hoodie - Thrifted